My Dad isn't perfect...

I don't have a lot of memories of my dad playing catch with me or running around outside with me or playing games. He was a coach in junior high for a time but he never coached my little league teams. He never took me fishing because he just doesn't fish. My Dad worked a lot. He was a school teacher. But that wasn't his only job. During baseball season my Dad sold tickets at Ranger Stadium. 1st base side...gate 7 or 8 I think. This meant he wasn't home a lot. But sometimes I got to tag along and run around the ballpark before it opened to the fans and get autographs. I remember when George W owned the Rangers and Dad pointed him out to me. At the time he was the Vice President's son...but all I knew or cared was that he was my Dad's boss so he had to be important. His autograph sits on my mantle still today. My Dad worked 2 jobs sometimes 3 or 4 for us. His family was the most important thing in his life. He did whatever he had to do to make sure we had everything we needed no matter how many hours he had to work. A good part of summers were spent at camps or at my grandparent's house. I wasn't home much. Dad was usually working. Sprinkler company one summer, working for an electrician another. He never stopped. But he still found time to be the house enforcer, the fix-it man, the "oh crap I forgot I have a major project due in the morning and I need to build a working volcano!" helper. He even burned his hand putting out a fire in our neighbor's house because that is the kind of man that he is. Always putting others before himself.

My most special childhood memory was the summer of 1988. My rite of passage trip. Dad took me to Big Bend National Park. Just me. We left the world behind and drove. And yes, I got to drive. As a 12 year old! It was awesome. Getting to spend that week alone with my Dad meant more to me than he will ever know. My son turns 13 next summer and I get to carry on that tradition with him. Hopefully it will mean as much to him as it did to me.

My Dad will be 67 in a few months and he is still working full time. Why? Because he never stops giving. All of his boys have crashed and burned at some point and needed him. Some of us more than others. Every time that happens he picks us up, brushes us off, helps point us in the right direction and walks with us until we are again strong enough to walk on our own.

Was or is my Dad perfect? No. Does my Dad strive everyday to be a better man than he was yesterday? Yes. Do I wish I could now take care of my Dad like he has taken care of me? Yes. I would love nothing more than to provide for him and my mom so they could retire and relax. They deserve it. I live 4 hours away but visit every chance I get because I know we are all getting older and life is getting shorter. As I have gotten older I have become more and more like my Dad, and that is perfectly ok by me. I look like him, talk like him, and think like him. If you asked him if he wished he did some things different he could probably give you a list. I would contend that he shouldn't change a thing. He made me the man and the father I am today. My Dad truly is my hero. Not because he changed the world or accomplished some incredible feat that will be talked about for centuries, but because he is my Dad. I love you Dad. Thank you for everything from the bottom of my heart.

Seeing my daughter smile...mission accomplished

I have never considered myself "handy". I used to watch my Dad fix things around the house and wish I had that kind of ability. I still go to my Dad for help and advice on how to fix things. My great-grandfather (Pops) was a carpenter. I remember sitting in his lap and watching him whittle for me. He was an amazing man. Last year I tried my first "project". I made a small "time-out" bench for the kids. It wasn't bad. I made another one for my best friend's new baby. I did a lot better on the second one. Well, for some reason I decided that I wanted to make a really cool big girl bed for my daughter's 5th birthday. This project was WAY out of my league and ability level. I have never known the words "I can't". I was determined to teach myself to be a carpenter and accomplish my goal. On Sunday June 10th my daughter came back from her mom's apartment and for the first time saw her new bed. I made her smile and again showed her just how much she means to me. When she climbed the stairs and got up on the bed she said "Daddy I am going to sleep in this bed FOREVER!" Here are a few pictures of her new bed. Mission Accomplished.

His grace is sufficient...but not for Christians...

Grace, grace, God's grace, 
grace that will pardon and cleanse within; 
grace, grace, God's grace, 
grace that is greater than all our sin! 

I was always so confused by the concept of grace. At least the grace that was taught to me at church confused me. Grace is defined as an act or instance of kindness, courtesy, or clemency. Is grace conditional? CAN grace be conditional? According to most "Christians" the answer to that question is yes. That is the part I never understood. 


In my opinion, it is not truly grace if it comes with conditions. Anytime I try to wrap my brain around how God sees humans I start by relating it to how I feel about my son. If he screws up and begs me not to punish him and decide not to punish him I have shown him mercy. If he screws up and instead of punishing him I give him $100 even though he didn't deserve it...that is grace. I was taught that God sent his son to die for us....BUT you had to "accept" the gift or it wasn't yours. I used to be a champ and defending this aspect of faith. If I gave you a gift, let's just say I wrote you a check for $1000, and you never cashed it did you truly receive the benefits of my gift? That was always my argument for why some would go to hell...cuz they never "cashed the check". But here is my snag now...while the phrase "the gift of grace" is thrown around quite often...I am not sure it is accurate. A gift does imply that you must accept it to truly have it. To me, that isn't grace. 


Here is another analogy that I consider more accurate for grace. Let's say my son has racked up a HUGE debt with a credit card company. This debt is so large there is no way he can pay it off and the creditors are nipping at his heels. He makes a $20 payment here and there but the interest compounds and the debt just keeps growing. I love my son and don't want to see him in financial trouble even though he is in that position by his own doing. What if I called the creditors on his behalf and paid his debt outright. Paid in full. Is this transaction complete without my son doing anything....yes. Does he have to call them and tell the creditors that he wishes to "accept" the payment I made...no. Would I do it because I want my son to now worship me everyday and tell me how awesome I am as a dad....no. I would do it because I love him. Would I tell him that I did this for him BUT...if he doesn't "accept" it then I am going to throw him to the creditors...no. Grace is something given even when undeserved...expecting NOTHING in return. 


Keep coming back...it works if you work it....

Tim Tebow is my hero!!!!! (dripping with sarcasm)

We must all ask ourselves...WWTTB...I heard after the game he ran into a burning building and rescued an infant AND the infant's puppy! And after that he fed the homeless of Denver with half a fish and a loaf of moldy bread! It is storming here in Texas...and I totally anticipate the clouds to open and for Tim Tebow to appear on a white horse...a BRONCO! The prophecy is being fulfilled! For those that don't know me, I am being EXTREMELY sarcastic. Don't get me wrong, Tim Tebow appears to be a great man with a great heart. However, he is a 3rd tier quarterback at best. He is a great athlete with natural athletic ability, but he is not a good quarterback. Go ahead and rattle off his stats...that's fine. But watch the game objectively and you will see how average he is. It is sad that the Denver Broncos are not getting the credit they deserve as a TEAM. The defense is playing above their ability. And people will say that Tebow has inspired them to greatness. Like Tebow for his off the field persona, but PLEASE stop building him up as the next great NFL quarterback. Just stop. Keep coming back cuz it works if you work it!

Staying the Course in the New Year...

Got to love Calvin and Hobbs...always makes me smile...a boy and his stuffed animal...

Characteristics of God...All-Powerful

All-Powerful....I have heard this all my life and just always nodded in agreement. But I have issues with it when I think through it with logic and reason. Let's take a quick look at child abuse. With the Penn State scandal in the news, Bernie Fine, and all the other shit I see and read about children suffering it makes me really question what I was taught about God. If God is All-Powerful then why? Go ahead fundy...tell me the line about free-will blah blah blah. Here is the implication of such a defense. An all-powerful, all-knowing, all-loving and perfect God would stand idly by and allow billions of people throughout the course of history to suffer, die, and go to hell if they don't have fire insurance simply because two naive humans named Adam and Eve took a bite of some fruit from some tree in the Garden of Eden that God said not to eat. Even though prior to the decision they had NO concept of right and wrong, no concept of what consequences meant or were. In other words, one mistake by 2 people ages ago caused an eternity of pain and suffering for billions of people which all-powerful, all-knowing, all-loving and perfect God allowed to happen in the first place. Anyone else see a problem with that?The fact is, shit happens. It is what it is. Keep coming back cuz it works if you work it!

God's torture chamber...the abbreviated version...

Once upon a time a great big powerful God, who knew everything, and could see everything, created a torture chamber in which to torture his own children if they listened to the devil, an evil bastard also created by the all-wise God. But don’t worry. He killed his own son so a few of his kids could escape his torture chamber…………………THE END


**from a good guy and pastor Robert Rutherford**