Peer Pressure At It's Finest!

This is obviously a bit exaggerated but it illustrates what I am come to learn about the two groups. Call me crazy but I prefer the unchurched.

Peer Pressure from the Unchurched

Unchurched Guy - "Hey dude...want a beer?"
Me - "No thanks."
Unchurched Guy - "Ok man. Let me know if you want one."
Me - "Thanks, I will."

Peer Pressure from the Churched

Churched Individual - "Hello sinner. Would you like to come to church with me Sunday morning?"
Me - "No thanks."
Churched Individual - "How about on Wednesday?"
Me - "No thanks."
Churched Individual - "But I really want you to come to church with me."
Me - "No thanks."
Churched Individual - "But you REALLY need to try it."
Me - "No thanks."
Churched Individual - "Come on...you might like it."
Me - "No thanks."
Churched Individual - "Seriously, I insist. I will pick you up at 10:00 am."
Me - "No thanks."
Churched Individual - "HOW COULD YOU SAY NO??? YOU ARE GOING TO HELL IF YOU DON'T COME!!!"
Me - "No thanks."
Churched Individual - "STUPID SINNER! I CAN'T EVEN STAND TO BE AROUND YOU ANYMORE IF YOU WON'T COME TO CHURCH!"
Me - "Well ok. Sorry"
Churched Individual - "AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGG!!!! I AM PUTTING YOU ON THE SINNERS PRAYER LIST!!!"
Me - "Ok. Whatever you need to do...hey...do you want a beer?"
Churched Individual - "NNNOOOOO!!!!!!! shhhhhh....yes....but wait until the other church people leave."

I Don't Care Who I Offend!

I cringe every time I hear a "Christian" utter those words. I mean seriously? You don't care? The sad thing is I used to be one of those that made that statement with pride! There are SO many flaws to this line of thinking but I will only mention a few. First of all, YOU SHOULD CARE! If a Christian's goal truly is to reach "the lost" then why wouldn't you care if you offend them? I don't know about you, but if someone walked up to be and kicked me in the balls and then punched me in the face and then asked to be my friend..I am afraid I might not accept that friendship. Christians do the same thing everyday...and with such arrogance. Righteous indignation is not a pretty thing. If I said that the sky is blue and you said it was more of a gray but I was certain it was blue and set out to convince you but you wouldn't change your mind so I say "Screw you then! You are going to burn for all eternity because the sky is BLUE!" Would you then suddenly cry and say I was right? Would that change your opinion? It wouldn't change mine. If you don't care who you offend when trying to get your point across then you will never endear yourself to the people you offend nor will you succeed in your propaganda mission. Jesus showed compassion to those around him. You should try to do the same regardless of your beliefs. And the people that seem to understand compassion the most are the unchurched. They have not been corrupted by the "we know more than you because we have the answer and you don't!" attitude that most churches seem to promote. Just my opinion. Take it or leave it. I still like ya either way! Keep coming back...it works if you work it!

God's Baggage

One of my favorite illustrators. The Naked Pastor.

The Power of Prayer...(Making humans feel better about failure and disappointment)

This topic always confused me as a child. I could halfway understand the "God help me decide which (insert big or small decision) to choose" prayer, but at that point you are more asking for help picking what God has already decided. The part that always ran my head into a wall of confusion was that "we just want to pray for healing of brother rottencrotch's cancer." And then, if the cancer went into remission they all exclaimed "Hooray!!! Yippee! Prayer works!!!!" Um...ok...let's make a right turn off of Bullshit Boulevard and head down to the corner of Logical Lane and Reality Road. This is another one of those "how can we make this work for me" ideas. God knows all. God has already determined all. Knew the date I would be born, then day I would notice my first gray hair (life altering day by the way), when I would have kids, and when I will die. All of this has already been determined. And yet we, as emotional humans, SOMEHOW think if we ask nicely God might change his mind and alter the predetermined path for our life. What about the guy that prays for the same healing and he dies anyway? Do we say in that case that prayer doesn't work? Or maybe he didn't pray as hard or as much as the other guy? Or maybe God just didn't love him as much? The fact is, pray or don't pray...it doesn't matter. It will not change the course of events. That would be showing favoritism by God. And that can't be. Prayer is simply a device used by us talking monkeys to make us feeling better. That way we can better handle disappointment and failure. "It just wasn't in God's plan." Sure many will disagree with me, although to do that they would have to read my blog so I am not too worried. Keep coming back cuz it works if you work it!

NEW JOB!

Last October the company I had been working for hired a new Controller. I was the Corporate Accountant. Her second day on the job she looked at me with a great deal of distain and proclaimed, "God you remind me of my ex-husband!" Needless to say, the rest of my time with the company was filled with joy, happiness and tender moments. Sarcasm abounds. Well on September 13th I was called into the conference room at the end of the day and, without much fanfare, told my services would no longer be needed. Awesome. Now what...don't get me wrong, I woke up the morning of the 14th and smiled knowing I would know longer have to see that wretched woman any longer. The search began for my next chapter of employment and the bills began to pile up. I am sure had I been attending church, reading my Bible and praying daily it would not have taken as long to find work but yeah...I am who I am. So finally, after nearly 2 months on the unemployment line, I got an interview. And as luck would have, I got the job! A friend of mine was happy for me and said, "See...prayer works!!" Call me sinicle but my response was, "That's funny...because I thought it had more to do with my resume, a good interview and being a good fit for what they were looking for." Anyway, I am glad to be working again and even happier to be getting a paycheck again.